Funny Phrases Cross Stitch Patterns

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Too Hard to Get Back up by Iris Originals
Too Hard to Get Back up
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Growing older has never been so relatable! This humorous design is perfect for anyone who can laugh at the little aches and pains that come...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Aged Wine by Bobbie G Designs
Aged Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Bobbie G Designs
Pour a little humor into your stitching with Aged Wine! Surrounded by bottles and lush bunches of grapes, this playful design features the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:43w x 140
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
Multiple styles available
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, One Cup of Coffee by Iris Originals
One Cup of Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I have one cup of coffee each morning just to start the day off right - the rest are to keep me out of jail - help me form sentences and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:113w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Hold On Let Me Over Think This
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For anyone whose brain never seems to hit the pause button, this witty design perfectly captures the art of overthinking. A fun and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #2 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A little dark humor for serious coffee lovers. This witty design is a quick and fun stitch for anyone who knows that caffeine comes...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:36w x 36
Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream
Floss:1 DMC color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #5 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #5
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A sweet and witty design for anyone who believes true love comes with the irresistible aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Counted cross...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 60
Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream
Floss:1 DMC color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #6 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #6
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
Short, simple and delightfully sassy. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 33 x 24. Model stitched on 32ct Cream Evenweave using...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:33w x 24
Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream
Floss:1 DMC color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A Cluttered Kitchen by Sue Hillis Designs
A Cluttered Kitchen
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
A Cluttered Kitchen is a happy kitchen and this one is delirious! When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into an...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:125w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Understands by Iris Originals
Coffee Understands
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Coffee doesn't ask silly questions - coffee understands. Great gift for a coffee loving friend. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:92w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida Platinum
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Been Fun/Not Interested by X's & Oh's
Been Fun/Not Interested
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Woodworking by Sue Hillis Designs
Woodworking
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Celebrate craftsmanship with this witty and fun design. Surrounded by a playful arrangement of ruler, saw, hammer, drill and clamps, this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 72
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo by Cross Stitch Wonders
Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
It's a sweet, humorous thank-you note from your furry friend—perfectly capturing that adorable blend of love and, well… responsibility....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 139
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old People by Iris Originals
Old People
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on the Floor by Iris Originals
Sit on the Floor
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Note to self...Do not sit on the floor without a plan on how to get up. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 98 x 115. Model...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 115
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine a Bit by Sue Hillis Designs
Wine a Bit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Bold stitched in rich wine tones, the cheeky message “Wine a bit… you’ll feel better" is perfect for wine lovers with a sense of humor!...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:53w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida Lambswool
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Time and Friends by Iris Originals
Time and Friends
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This is true for sure!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 102
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:9 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Beach Please by Spot Colors
Beach Please
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Spot Colors
A fun and tropical design bursting with sunny beach vibes, palm trees and colorful summer details. A playful stitch perfect for adding a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 70
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:9 DMC colors
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee-isms #4 by Stitchnmomma
Coffee-isms #4
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
For those who run on caffeine, this fun and witty design says it all! A quick stitch that's perfect for coffee lovers with a sense of...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:71w x 50
Fabric:32ct. Linen Cream
Floss:1 DMC color
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Safe Place by Iris Originals
Safe Place
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I hate when I put something in a "Safe Place" Then it's pretty much lost forever! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 91 x 93....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 93
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old Age by Iris Originals
Old Age
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't let old age get you down - It's too hard to get back up. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 152 x 126. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:152w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee in My Hand by Iris Originals
Coffee in My Hand
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'm a coffee addict - so love everything coffee - just can't help myself from designing yet another 'cute' coffee saying.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 94
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Schools Out - Teachers Care To The Core by Cross Stitch Wonders
Schools Out - Teachers Care To The Core
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great SCHOOLS OUT Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Cross Stitch Pattern designed by Marcia Manning. Design is 98 stitches wide by...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bookstore by Rogue Stitchery
Bookstore
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 108 x 32. Chart will be in color and project includes full stitches, quarter stitches, half...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:108w x 32
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$5.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Ducks by Iris Originals
My Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute little saying - unfortunately it's about right for me.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Invisible Crown by Kiokiz
Invisible Crown
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 70
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sissies by Iris Originals
Sissies
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I can promise that - old age is definitely not for sissies. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 93 x 95. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 95
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Underestimate Me by Imaginating
Underestimate Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This black and white design by Mary Engelbreit brings some fun and wit to your stitching. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 118
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old and Wise by Iris Originals
Old and Wise
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
The reason I'm old and wise is that God protected me when I was young and stupid! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 89 x 89....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:89w x 89
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat by Cross Stitch Wonders
Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Add a little humor to your bathroom with this adorable design featuring a curious cat and a message every cat owner knows is all too true....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:17 DMC colors
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Help! There's a Cat in my Lap and I Can't Get Up! by Cross Stitch Wonders
Help! There's a Cat in my Lap and I Can't Get Up!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This playful pattern features a sweet, sleeping kitty positioned atop the bold phrase, making it both a laugh-out-loud conversation starter...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ride the Broom by Imaginating
Ride the Broom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Add a dash of spooky fun to your stitching with "Ride The Broom!" This playful cross stitch design features a witch’s skirt with striped...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 122
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ew. People. by The Stitcherhood
Ew. People.
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun, easy and humorous pattern that shows two cats with one thinking “Ew. People”. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 118 x 58....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 58
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Is Better With Cats by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Is Better With Cats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Let your devotion to whiskers and purrs shine in every stitch! This delightful pattern spells out a heartfelt truth with playfulness—Life...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Is Better At The Beach by Romy's Creations
Life Is Better At The Beach
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Romy's Creations
Life really is better at the beach! This cheerful design features sunny flip-flops, a cool drink, playful crabs and seaside accents for the...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:60w x 57
Fabric:16ct. Aida Sea Spray
Floss:Romy's Creations, DMC Floss
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Makes Me Human by Kitty & Me Designs
Coffee Makes Me Human
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kitty & Me Designs
Wake up and stitch with a smile! This charming design features a cozy coffee pot, colorful florals and the cheerful reminder that coffee is...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:114w x 59
Fabric:28ct. Lugana Ivory
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.80
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Santa's Helpers by Sue Hillis Designs
Santa's Helpers
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Features colorful Christmas cocktails beneath the phrase “Santa’s Real Helpers.” With its bright colors, charming details, and lighthearted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 67
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life is Too Short for Bad Coffee by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life is Too Short for Bad Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great COFFEE Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from artwork by Sanquentti Design. Design is 88...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, WordyBirds - June by Sweet Wing Studio
WordyBirds - June
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sweet Wing Studio
Flamingos prance on the beach in the 6th of the WordyBirds series! Perfectly beachy and fun for the month of June. Pattern is stitched...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:119w x 71
Fabric:32ct. Linen Vintage Stormy Clouds
Floss:DMC
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life ... Coffee N' Wine by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life ... Coffee N' Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great COFFEE/WINE Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Complete Sentence by Imaginating
Complete Sentence
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design is such a fun way to celebrate this important sentiment! Project includes full stitches, backstitching and a few quarter...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wine Gnome by Cross Stitch Wonders
Wine Gnome
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This awesome WINE GNOME is great whether stitched by itself or along with the funny saying. Marcia Manning designed this from licensed...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:130w x 116
Floss:DMC
Designer:Marcia Manning
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, When I Was a Kid by Iris Originals
When I Was a Kid
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
This probably fits most of us... but when we get there, well, maybe being a kid isn't such a bad thing after all.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 91
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Santa by The Stitcherhood
Dear Santa
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Stitcherhood
A fun and funny cross stitch pattern for Christmas. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 120 x 50. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:120w x 50
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:1 DMC color
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Threads Series I - Sorry! I Don't Take Orders I Barely Take Suggestions by Cross Stitch Wonders
Sassy Threads Series I - Sorry! I Don't Take Orders I Barely Take Suggestions
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
For those who prefer to do things their own way, this witty design delivers plenty of sass and humor. Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:109w x 160
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:7 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Lick the Frosting by Iris Originals
Lick the Frosting
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin...and muffins are healthy - You're Welcome! Counted cross stitch pattern....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 79
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Women Who Behave by Sue Hillis Designs
Women Who Behave
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Part of the Pirates series. Women who behave - Rarely make history. Handcuffs charm included. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count:...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 60
Fabric:14ct. Aida Sage/Summer Khaki
Floss:13 DMC colors
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, It Takes a Village by Imaginating
It Takes a Village
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Parenting humor at its best, because where is that village when you need it? A lighthearted stitch for anyone who's ever felt outnumbered...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, My Thoughts by Iris Originals
My Thoughts
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sometimes the thoughts in my head get bored and stroll out of my mouth! That's never a good thing! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 106
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I Dusted Once by Iris Originals
I Dusted Once
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I dusted once - it came back. I'm not falling for that again! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 90 x 76. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 76
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tossing & Turning by Iris Originals
Tossing & Turning
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Sounds like a good idea to me - I need all the exercise I can get! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 105w x 83. Stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 83
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:DMC Floss
$6.50
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