Funny Phrases: Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Menopausal Dwarves by Sue Hillis Designs
Menopausal Dwarves
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Itchy Bitchy Sleepy Sweaty Bloaty Forgetful and Psycho.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:55w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Early Bird Coffee by Imaginating
Early Bird Coffee
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
It's been said that the early bird gets the worm...but that early bird also gets all of the coffee! This project includes full stitches,...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 77
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:25 DMC floss colors
$19.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Your Issues by Sue Hillis Designs
Your Issues
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
This bold, humorous pattern features the phrase “Please cancel my subscription to your issues” framed with classic stamp-style details and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 102
Fabric:14ct. Aida Ivory
Floss:DMC Floss
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, It Takes A Village by Imaginating
It Takes A Village
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
Parenting humor at its best, because where is that village when you need it? A lighthearted stitch for anyone who's ever felt outnumbered...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC floss colors
$20.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Before My Morning Coffee by Artecy Cross Stitch
Before My Morning Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern of Roosevelt the cat was designed from the beautiful artwork of Gail Gastfield. Only full cross stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:198w x 230
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:58 DMC colors
$15.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Without Coffee by Iris Originals
Without Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Yes, I'm a self confessed coffee addict, and anyone who knows me knows that - so friends are always teasing me. That's okay - just don't...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 78
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, New Day by White Willow Stitching
New Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Need a good laugh? Frame it or turn it in to a bell pull. This chart will bring hours of giggles to someone with a twisted sense of humor....
Pattern Details:
Floss:9 DMC floss colors
Designer:StitchBitch
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Loves Me by Sue Hillis Designs
Loves Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
...Loves me, Loves me not...'tis no matter, I'm all he's got. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into a 5...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:58w x 86
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Chocolate Resistance by Erica Michaels Designs
Chocolate Resistance
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Erica Michaels Designs
Personally, for me there is no resistance happening whatsoever - but perhaps that's easier for others! This quick-to-stitch design is just...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:141w x 47
Fabric:36ct. Linen Vintage Country Mocha
Floss:Weeks Dye Works
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Quotables Fitness Sore Today by PinoyStitch
Quotables Fitness Sore Today
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Quotables word art counted cross stitch patterns make great easy projects for all types of stitchers. These easy counted...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:67w x 72
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 8
Designer:PinoyStitch
Multiple styles available
$8.50
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Cross Stitch Kits, Socks by Imaginating
Socks
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
From Mary Engelbreit's "Engeldark" line this project is all about just having "one of those days" Design includes full stitches,...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:91w x 123
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
$16.95
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Cross Stitch Kits, Packed up Her Potential by Mill Hill
Currently Out of Stock
Packed up Her Potential
a Cross Stitch Kit by Mill Hill
Kit Includes: Beads, fabric , floss, needles, chart and instructions.
Kit Details:
Size:7" X 7"
$19.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Underestimate Me by Imaginating
Underestimate Me
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This black and white design by Mary Engelbreit brings some fun and wit to your stitching. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 95...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 118
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat by Cross Stitch Wonders
Bathroom Concierge Kitty Cat
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Add a little humor to your bathroom with this adorable design featuring a curious cat and a message every cat owner knows is all too true....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:96w x 96
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:17 DMC colors
On Sale:$8.49
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo by Cross Stitch Wonders
Roses are Red Violets are Blue ... Poo
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
It's a sweet, humorous thank-you note from your furry friend—perfectly capturing that adorable blend of love and, well… responsibility....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:118w x 139
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$5.09
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Help! There's a Cat in my Lap and I Can't Get Up! by Cross Stitch Wonders
Help! There's a Cat in my Lap and I Can't Get Up!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
This playful pattern features a sweet, sleeping kitty positioned atop the bold phrase, making it both a laugh-out-loud conversation starter...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:80w x 98
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 DMC colors
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ride the Broom by Imaginating
Ride the Broom
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
Add a dash of spooky fun to your stitching with "Ride The Broom!" This playful cross stitch design features a witch’s skirt with striped...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:94w x 122
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:14 DMC colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Is Better With Cats by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Is Better With Cats
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Let your devotion to whiskers and purrs shine in every stitch! This delightful pattern spells out a heartfelt truth with playfulness—Life...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Kits, Wine by Design Works
Wine
a Cross Stitch Kit by Design Works
Beautiful designs and top quality materials make Design Works one of the top cross stitch kit makers worldwide. This package contains 14...
Kit Details:
Size:4" Round
$6.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life is Too Short for Bad Coffee by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life is Too Short for Bad Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great COFFEE Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from artwork by Sanquentti Design. Design is 88...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:88w x 100
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Woodworking by Sue Hillis Designs
Woodworking
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
Celebrate craftsmanship with this witty and fun design. Surrounded by a playful arrangement of ruler, saw, hammer, drill and clamps, this...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 72
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:8 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Old People by Iris Originals
Old People
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Don't Make Old People Mad - we don't like being old in the first place so it doesn't take much to piss us off. Counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:70w x 87
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life ... Coffee N' Wine by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life ... Coffee N' Wine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great COFFEE/WINE Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design. ...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
On Sale:$3.79
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Complete Sentence by Imaginating
Complete Sentence
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Imaginating
This design is such a fun way to celebrate this important sentiment! Project includes full stitches, backstitching and a few quarter...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:107w x 131
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC floss colors
Multiple styles available
$7.00
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