Funny Phrases: Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Valentine Gnome - Roses are Red ... BEER! by Cross Stitch Wonders
Valentine Gnome - Roses are Red ... BEER!
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
Designed from exclusive licensed artwork by Art Matters Designs. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 98 x 128. Model stitched on...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:98w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:15 DMC colors
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm Not Old, I'm 25+ s&h by MarNic Designs
I'm Not Old, I'm 25+ s&h
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:86w x 57
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$5.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee Drinker ... Camping Problem by Cross Stitch Wonders
Coffee Drinker ... Camping Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great COFFEE/CAMPING Saying Design in counted cross stitch! Marcia Manning designed this from Exclusive artwork by Sanquentti Design....
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:132w x 108
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:Sulky 12 Wt. Cotton Petites™
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Little Chuckles-No Thinking Before I Speak by MarNic Designs
Little Chuckles-No Thinking Before I Speak
a Cross Stitch Pattern by MarNic Designs
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:147w x 129
$8.99
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Weird by Iris Originals
Weird
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, it really is! Yes, I'm old - but in my mind I don't feel old. I suspect there are many like me. Great for yourself or gift for a...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:101w x 76
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Distracted by Iris Originals
Distracted
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well yes, that happens fairly frequently. Need to rejuvinate the memory.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:102w x 88
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Ingredients by Iris Originals
Ingredients
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Cute chart for those who aren't crazy about cooking (that would be me).
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 84
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:5 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Life Update Still Love Cats People Not So Much by Cross Stitch Wonders
Life Update Still Love Cats People Not So Much
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
PURRFECT! ADORABLE CAT Saying by Marcia Manning. Original Art by Funky Frog Creative Designs. Design is 110 stitches wide by 128 stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 128
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$4.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Hissy Fit by Iris Originals
Hissy Fit
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, some days I'm not crazy about being old - BUT, I'm still always thankful when I wake up abov the grass.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Crazy Dog Person by Iris Originals
Crazy Dog Person
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, I only have one dog - but I do ask him where the cats are. Most anyone with multiple animals is 'guilty' of this.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:105w x 71
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Kits, Let's Love Dad by Imaginating
Let's Love Dad
a Cross Stitch Kit by Imaginating
Pay tribute to dad or any father figure in stitches with this award winning design! Would make a wonderful gift for Father's Day! Project...
Kit Details:
Stitch Count:149w x 134
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 DMC floss colors
$23.95
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Cross Stitch Patterns, I'm a Classic by Iris Originals
I'm a Classic
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, getting old does have it's benefits - I'm still above the grass - BUT, I'm also becoming a "classic".
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 97
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 color Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Unstoppable by Iris Originals
Unstoppable
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I'd be unstoppable if only I could just get started! Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 90 x 81. Model stitched on 14ct White...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:90w x 81
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:5 DMC colors
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Some Days by Iris Originals
Some Days
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
I suspect it doesn't matter your age - this can apply almost anytime you're in the double digits.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:103w x 130
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:8 colors Anchor or DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Queen of Quite a Lot by The Scarlett House
Queen of Quite a Lot
a Cross Stitch Pattern by The Scarlett House
Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 111 x 66. Model stitched on 40ct Legacy linen by Picture This Plus using DMC floss. We do not...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:111w x 66
Fabric:40ct. Linen
Floss:6 DMC colors
On Sale:$5.60
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Chocolate Is Proof by Stitchnmomma
Chocolate Is Proof
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A quirky, easy-to-stitch piece for any chocolate lover. Or why not make it as a gift for the chocolate lover in your life.
Pattern Details:
Size:5.71" x 5.43"
Floss:5 DMC Cotton Colors
Designer:Kelly Myers
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Tools of the Trade by Sue Hillis Designs
Tools of the Trade
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Sue Hillis Designs
The tools every pirate needs. When stitched on 14 count fabric or "over two" on 28 count, fits into an 8 inch by 10 inch frame. Three coin...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:99w x 126
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sassy Lady Witch by PinoyStitch
Sassy Lady Witch
a Cross Stitch Pattern by PinoyStitch
Cross stitch Sassy Ladies speak their mind! Designed retro style with quirky quotes for a fun project. Easy stitch, mostly full stitches...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:57w x 49
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC Floss Colors: 11
Multiple styles available
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Controlling my Tongue by Iris Originals
Controlling my Tongue
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Well, sadly this is true most of the time!
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:84w x 85
Fabric:14ct. Aida white
Floss:4 colors Anchor or DMC
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Had My Coffee? by Iris Originals
Had My Coffee?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Great and simple chart for the coffee addict. Why are you talking to me before I've had my coffee.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:106w x 136
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:3 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.30
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Work on Your Problem by Iris Originals
Work on Your Problem
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Ever had someone who wanted you to drop everything and work on.... well, you know. Cute saying for an office wall - makes a great gift.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:95w x 52
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:4 colors DMC or Anchor
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Worry by Iris Originals
Worry
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
Worry is a misuse of imagingation. Counted cross stitch pattern. Stitch count: 79 x 54. Model stitched on 14ct White Aida using DMC floss.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 54
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Dear Lord... She's Awake by Iris Originals
Dear Lord... She's Awake
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Iris Originals
"Dear Lord, Help me to live my life in such a way that when my feet hit the floor in the morning, satan shudders and says, Oh S---, she's...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 80
Fabric:14ct. Aida
Floss:4 DMC or Anchor colors
$6.50
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Fishing Quote 3 by Artecy Cross Stitch
Fishing Quote 3
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artecy Cross Stitch
This counted cross stitch pattern with the fishing quote, There's always time for one more cast, was created from Artwork by Gomolach. Only...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:140w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:2 DMC colors
$7.95
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