Funny Phrases: Cross Stitch Patterns & Kits

Need a laugh stitch? Choose a funny phrase cross stitch with clean lettering and simple borders. Finish a small for a desk or housewarming gift.
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Mortgage Sweet Mortgage by Peacock & Fig
Mortgage Sweet Mortgage
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Mortgage Sweet Mortgage cross stitch pattern is a fun play on the traditional phrase “Home Sweet Home,” and reflects the modern reality...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:65w x 85
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$8.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2 by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM 2
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - MY DRINKING FRIENDS HAVE A CAMPING PROBLEM
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Great DRINKING / FRIEND / CAMPING SAYING design with a plaid background in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others by Cross Stitch Wonders
A MUGnificent Stitch - Peas Be Kind to Others
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Cross Stitch Wonders
A Beautiful FARMERS MARKET THEME SAYING design in our A MUGnificent Stitch Series of counted cross stitch designs! PEAS BE KIND TO OTHERS...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:154w x 156
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$7.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Been Fun/Not Interested by X's & Oh's
Been Fun/Not Interested
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
$12.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Another Great Day by Peacock & Fig
Another Great Day
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
When adulting just seems too hard for you, take some time out to relax with a little stitching and whip up the pretty demotivational...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Be the Villain by Peacock & Fig
Be the Villain
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Feel like getting a little stabby? Maybe the “Be The Villain” cross stitch pattern can help you out…Featured in Issue 5 of XStitch...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Caffeine by Peacock & Fig
Caffeine
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you someone who cannot fathom starting their day without the Elixir of the Gods, caffeine? If your morning cuppa is more important to...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No Pants by Peacock & Fig
No Pants
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The No Pants cross stitch pattern is an uplifting reminder of the sanctity of a no-pants zone, and that you are completely normal for...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Adulthood by Peacock & Fig
Adulthood
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
In case you’re finding adulting harder than your eight-year-old self anticipated, the Adulthood cross stitch pattern should help you giggle...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:110w x 140
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Pugs not drugs by Kiokiz
Pugs not drugs
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:57 x 88 stitches
Floss:DMC
Designer:Kiokiz
$8.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Garden Hoes by Peacock & Fig
Garden Hoes
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
Are you one of those people who love sarcasm and quick-witted comebacks? If so, the Garden Hoes hand embroidery pattern might be an ideal...
Pattern Details:
Size:5 1/2" diameter
Floss:DMC
Designer:Dana Batho
$10.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Go Pollinate Yourself by Peacock & Fig
Go Pollinate Yourself
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The Go Pollinate Yourself cross stitch pattern pairs a cheeky phrase with a whimsical floral wreath, and is perfect if you have small...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Sit on a Thorn by Peacock & Fig
Sit on a Thorn
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
The snarky quote in Sit on a Thorn contrasts with the sparkle in the Kreinik thread and elegance of the pattern, and it’s guaranteed to...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC, Kreinik
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Cute but Psycho by Kiokiz
Cute but Psycho
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Kiokiz
Pattern Details:
Size:55 x 48 stitches
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Wedding Nights by Peacock & Fig
Wedding Nights
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you've ever wondered what to take to a bridal shower, then maybe this sassy marriage cross stitch pattern will be just what you're...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$10.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Miserable Cow by Peacock & Fig
Miserable Cow
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
This funny cross stitch pattern can help remind you to be a sparkly unicorn, not a miserable cow.
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, No More Ducks by Peacock & Fig
No More Ducks
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Peacock & Fig
If you are tired, stressed, and just don’t care anymore, this slightly subversive cross stitch pattern will make a cheeky addition to any...
Pattern Details:
Floss:DMC
Designer:Peacock & Fig
$11.98
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Breakfast Coffee by Rogue Stitchery
Breakfast Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Rogue Stitchery
This pattern consists of four pages – a cover sheet; instructions; black and white pattern with symbols, and a color legend. The legend...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:135w x 134
Fabric:14ct. aida white
Floss:DMC
On Sale:$6.35
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Grumpy Sign by Artists Alley
Grumpy Sign
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Artists Alley
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:174w x 101
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:DMC
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Awesome Coffee by Stitchnmomma
Awesome Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Stitchnmomma
A perfect, sunny piece for the coffee lover in your life. The pattern uses just 1 color and all full stitches on a bright fabric to...
Pattern Details:
Size:7.21" x 7.50"
Floss:1 DMC Cotton color
Designer:Kelly Myers
$9.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Why Worry? by X's & Oh's
Why Worry?
a Cross Stitch Pattern by X's & Oh's
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol!" Model stitched on 28 ct Antique white Jobelan using DMC floss. Stitch count 93x60.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:93w x 60
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Antique White
$10.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Bad Boy by White Willow Stitching
Bad Boy
a Cross Stitch Pattern by White Willow Stitching
Bad Boy is designed by my friend StitchBitch who has a wicked, sharp and twisted sense of humor. Designed using full stitches and...
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:79w x 62
Fabric:14ct. Aida White
Floss:6 DMC floss colors
$6.00
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Cross Stitch Patterns, Coffee by Pine Glen Designs
Coffee
a Cross Stitch Pattern by Pine Glen Designs
If the sun doesn't rise for you until a steam rises from your first cuppa... this is the chart for you.
Pattern Details:
Stitch Count:56w x 83
Fabric:28ct. Jobelan Summer Sky
$5.00
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